100+ Drinking Puns To Keep You Chuckling

Are you thirsty for a good laugh? Look no further because we have the ultimate collection of drinking puns for you. From short puns to one-liners, funny puns to family-friendly ones, and even puns used in movies, we’ve got them all. So, grab a drink, sit back, and get ready to be tickled with these hilarious quips.

Best Short Drinking Puns

  • I drank so much water, I’m well-hydrated: I’m on a liquid diet.
  • I have a mixed drink every night: It’s called ice and water.
  • I’m a glass-half-full kind of person, especially when it comes to wine.
  • Drinking whiskey before noon? It’s my mornin’ routine.
  • I spilled some champagne on my favorite shirt, but it was worth the prosecco-dent!
  • After a long day, I need a little boost. That’s why I love coffee liqueur.
  • Wine not? Let’s have a toast and enjoy the grape company.
  • Did you hear about the grape who couldn’t stop drinking wine? It was a case of vine-ality.
  • Beer before liquor? Never been sicker. But beer near a swimming pool? Absolutely refreshing!
  • I can’t resist a good pun or scotch. They both have a great finish.
  • What did the bartender say to the penguin? “Nice ice breaker!”
  • I love a good cocktail. It’s always shaken, never slurred.
  • I’m a whiskey enthusiast. Some might even say I’m bourbon ready to take on the world!
  • I told the waiter I found a hair in my drink. He said, “That’s bar-ty foul!”
  • Rumor has it, the lemon won the drinking race. He was clearly the zest competitor.
  • I asked my friend to pour me a glass of scotch, and he replied, “That’s malt-asking too much!”
  • Beer and pretzels go together like IP and AD.
  • I’m a tequila expert. I can always find the agave needle in a haystack of drinks.
  • Cheers to our designated driver: soda, the unsung hero.
  • What’s the best way to party in the Arctic? With penguins, ice cubes, and cold beverages!
  • That drink was so strong; it sob-hered me up in an instant!
  • I’m not afraid of spirits; I’m just afraid of mixer-ture.
One-Liner Drinking Puns

One-Liner Drinking Puns

  • I don’t trust people who don’t like wine: They’re either lying or sober.
  • Beer is like liquid bread. That means I’m on a liquid sandwich diet!
  • I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, it’s because I’m thirsty.
  • Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will milk.
  • What’s a wine’s favorite exercise? Running out of patience while aging.
  • I asked the bartender if he had any non-alcoholic drinks. He said, “Sorry, we don’t serve time travelers.”
  • My favorite cocktail is a vodka-based pun. You could say it’s a really mixed drink.
  • How do you stay warm in a cold bar? You stand in the corner; it’s always about 90 degrees there.
  • I’m not an alcoholic; I just like to party on a daily basis.
  • Why did the grape go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling very well!
  • Why did the beer go to art class? It wanted to be a real ale-ist!
  • I tried to make some drinks without ice, but they weren’t as cool as I thought.
  • Some people are afraid of heights; I’m afraid of widths—wide glasses of beer.
  • I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor like it was a tight polygraph line.
  • My favorite drink is coffee; it’s how I espresso my love for caffeine.
  • When life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic. It’s supposed to be lemons, and you make a citrusy cocktail.
  • Why did the drinker always carry a map? Just in case he got Moscow-ed.
  • I can’t stop drinking beer—I’ve been lager-dependent for too long.
  • I was going to quit drinking, but I’m no quitter. So I switched
  • Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!
  • What do you call a drunkard bird? A high-flier!
Funny Puns for Drinking

Funny Puns for Drinking

  • Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will milk.
  • Life is too short to drink bad wine. That’s why I only drink the good stuff!
  • The secret to a balanced diet? A wine glass in each hand!
  • Why did the grape go out with the raisin? It couldn’t find a date!
  • What’s the best way to cure a soda addiction? Cold turkey with ice cubes!
  • Drinking beer: Because you never know when you’ll need a random motivational speech.
  • I don’t have a drinking problem; I have a drinking opportunity!
  • I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
  • I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a barleyologist.
  • The bartender asked if I wanted a double, and I said, “I’ll settle for a fair amount!”
  • Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  • The secret to a great cocktail: Just add a sprinkle of confetti and call it a party in a glass!
  • I’m like a wine; I get better with age. Just ask my cork collection!
  • I never finish all my drinks; I always leave a little room for whiskey business.
  • My doctor said I should watch my drinking, so I’m practicing it in front of a mirror.
  • Why did the tomato turn red at the party? It saw the salad dressing!
  • The best thing about drinking alone: You can dance like nobody’s watching in the comfort of your living room.
  • I’ve accidentally been drinking saltwater for years. I must have a refined taste for margaritas.
  • I only drink on days ending with “y.” It’s the only consistent thing in my life.
  • When life gives you lemons, make sure there’s vodka nearby!
  • The best thing about drinking games: You always come out a winner.
Best Short Drinking Puns

Drinking Puns for Kids

  • Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems to solve.
  • How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
  • How do mountains see? They peak!
  • Where do cows go on their first date? The moo-vies!
  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  • What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King of the world!
  • What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  • How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  • What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
  • How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • How do you know if a vampire is sick? He’s always coffin!
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
  • Why did the superhero flush the toilet? Because it was his duty!
  • What did zero say to eight? “Nice belt!”
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
  • What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown!

Drinking Puns Used in Movies

  • “I’ll have what she’s having.” – Harry Burns in When Harry Met Sally
  • “Shaken, not stirred.” – James Bond in various Bond movies
  • “I feel the need… the need for mead!” – Top Gun (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Are you not entertained? Are you wine-ing?” – Maximus in Gladiator (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I’m the king of the world… and this wine!” – Jack Dawson in Titanic
  • “Here’s looking at brew, kid.” – Casablanca (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “You can’t handle the juice!” – A Few Good Men (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I’ve got a jar of craft, I’ve got a jar of craft, and guess what’s inside it!” – Elf (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Hasta la vista, thirsties.” – Terminator 2: Judgment Day (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Here’s Johnny Walker!” – The Shining (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Yippee-ki-yay, mother mixers!” – Die Hard (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “There’s no place like foam.” – The Wizard of Oz (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Love means never having to say ‘Pour me another!'” – Love Story (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I’m the Wino-er!” – The Terminator (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I see alcohol people.” – The Sixth Sense (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “You’re gonna need a bigger glass.” – Jaws (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “You had me at Merlot.” – Jerry Maguire (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “Go ahead, gin my day!” – Dirty Harry (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I’m walking here! And I’m stumbling home!” – Midnight Cowboy (parodying the famous line from the movie)
  • “I’m the captain now… pouring rum!” – Captain Phillips (parodying the famous line from the movie)

Key Takeaways

In this article, we dove into the world of drinking puns to quench your thirst for laughter. From the best short puns to one-liners, funny puns for all ages, and even those used in movies, we’ve explored a wide range of amusing wordplay. Puns have a way of bringing joy to any occasion, and incorporating them into the world of drinking adds an extra layer of fun.

Whether you’re looking for a clever one-liner to share at a party or some family-friendly puns to make kids giggle, this collection has it all. And don’t forget to appreciate the puns used in movies, as they bring a humorous twist to iconic lines and moments.

So, the next time you raise a glass, let the laughter flow with these drinking puns. Cheers to the power of wordplay and the joy it brings to our lives! Remember, laughter is the best finish coat! And remember, this is just a taste of what’s to come! Visit our website for more ideas, and delightful content that will keep the laughter flowing—because life’s too short not to have a sense of humor.

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